Herding Cat Hair

Is it possible? I wonder about it. We have two cats–an orange tabby and a black-and-white tuxedo cat. Two cats. There’s no escaping the inevitable tufts of cat hair floating around. We brush the cats occasionally, but you can’t tell. Let it go longer than a week without vacuuming and we’re talking tumbleweeds in the house. Especially in the wintertime when we can’t really–with a clear conscience–let the cats outside in the backyard to play. The hair collects. Everywhere.

In desperation, I started to wonder can you vacuum a cat? I realize the sound of a vacuum cleaner, including little ones, would probably end this before anything ever got started even if I donned some falconer gloves and a hockey mask. On the silent side, rollers with sticky sheets seem like they would create a mess–the cat would spend days cleaning himself in order to remove residue. Lick, lick, glare. Lick.

With my low vision, you know I’m not seeing all the cat hair that’s around our house. I can spend an entire day schlepping the vacuum cleaner like I’m on a Martha Stewart staycation, working in a grid pattern, walking the perimeters. When I ask Stockton to check my work, there’s always something I’ve missed. Story of my life. The cat hair wins again.

Tell me if you know a good way to eliminate the cat hair which does not involve accidental death or dismemberment to either myself or my cats. I’m ready.

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12 Comments Add yours

  1. Trisha says:

    I’ve had similar thoughts lately! I even thought (for about two seconds) about trying to vacuum one of the cats. The endlessness of their shedding is just unreal!

    1. Ours should be bald by now. Nine lives–how about nine layers of hair.

      1. Trisha says:

        Ha! Yes, at least nine layers…per week!

  2. Chelle says:

    You can’t get ahead of cat hair. I’m amazed at how fast it build up in my house with just one cat!

    1. There is nothing to be done! This is now a cat free home, which has its advantages, but I do miss those hairs and surprise gifts of small dead mammals.

    2. Chelle, the hair has a life of its own.

  3. FictionFan says:

    The secret is to do nothing. Just make sure you have attractively coloured cats – after a few months all the carpets and soft-furnishings will have a complete layer of fur and will look as if you’ve had them specially made by a top designer… 😉

    1. When in doubt, just ask: what would Karl Lagerfeld do?

  4. Hee hee, living in a world of dog hair here. And I choose my wardrobe around him a lot of the time!

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