Summer Family Vacation
1 Beach House in a desirable location proven to delight with a variety of activities.
12 Family Members, mixed ages
6 Parking Spots, off-street
Foodstuffs, preferably ones with high sugar, fat, and salt content.
Alcohol, all varieties in season
Assorted Umbrellas, Beach Chairs, Towels, Coolers, Sunscreen, Aloe, Flip-flops, Sunglasses, Puzzles, Movies, Music, Games, Reading Material, and Electronic Devices as desired.
1. Check rental agreement for adequate beds, baths, linens, and A/C or screened-in-porches before preparing your family vacation. Dirty and wilted family members do not mix well.
2. Travel to beach house. Preset puzzles, movies, music, games, reading material and electronic devices in gathering spaces.
3. Thoroughly stock fridge and arrange foodstuffs on kitchen counters.
4. On their arrival, spread family members evenly throughout beach house.
5. Fill family members with food and drink to taste.
6. As the sun rises towards high noon every morning, watch for family members to depart in small groups for the edges of the sandy shores.
7. As the sun sets, watch as family members return to the beach house, evenly browned. If skin is more red than brown, blanche in cold aloe.
8. Fold in food and drink as needed.
9. As the week progresses, listen for the sound of laughter bubbling up.
10. Enjoy fantastic memories for years to come.
Chef’s note: If you notice poor attitude or stressful, elevated voices for sustained amounts of time, limit the amount of those family members in the next family vacation you prepare. Everything in moderation. Except good vacations.