The Problem with Belts

It happens at public facilities. It happens at home. It happens at work. I can’t escape it. I can’t escape struggling to secure my belt.

While not life threatening, fastening my belt is a required and irritating element of my daily routine. Unintended mishaps dismay me. For example, observing the forced smile of an ice skater waiting for scores next to bossy coaches on camera after a lousy program, dreadful.

Back to the belt. I prefer skinny belts even if they increase the base point value of the skill. If I used one of those flashy yet simple country buckles, the degree of difficulty would plummet like an amateur athlete during open skate time. Can’t have that.

Perception remains my problem. When I look down for any reason, in this case at my belt, the silicone oil surgically implanted to keep my retinas from detaching shifts as if to say yoohoo, here I am, remember me? As if I could forget the pesky yet necessary addition to my eyeballs. Can’t see with it, really can’t see without it.

skinny belts of various colors hang on a rackThe belt sequence opens gracefully. I thread the belt into the pant loops then transition to glide the strap through the metal ring, but fitting the metal prong into the correct hole–not too tight, not too loose–knocks me out of rhythm.

Wherever I am–usually it’s by a toilet–I can’t flail and spin too much or I’ll have additional technical problems. I’m performing awkward choreography, intricate finger-work, hoping to connect without creasing the leather in poor execution, or as time passes, without punching a new, jagged hole born of frustration, a definite deduction in spirit.

Sure, roll your eyes at me. I roll my eyes at me. I’m fumbling around, trying not to accidentally grunt lest anyone hears me. Sometimes I stop and close my eyes and breathe, finding balance and my sanity before attempting to land the maneuver again.

I’ll manage to work it out. I’ll forget it until the next time I glance down at my unsecured belt while my oil distorts my vision. You again, I’ll think. Luckily, I only have about ten years to wait until prong-free ribbon belts are preppy again.

What daily hassles do you encounter? Tell me about it.

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14 Comments Add yours

  1. I completely understand.

      1. Keep up the awesome blogging, and if you get bored why not check out my blog? I write short stories and character interviews.

  2. Modwyn says:

    I fasten my belts purely by touch, so they aren’t a problem for me. But you know what is difficult? Securing the buckles on strappy shoes! I have several pairs of strappy heels that I cannot, for the life of me, secure easily. I have to take them off, search for the tightest hole, and then attempt to maneuver the tiny, fragile buckle prong through it while putting the shoe on my foot!

    1. Yes shoes can be a bit difficult, too. Perhaps the smaller the buckle, the harder it becomes to fasten? When I only use touch to fasten, I still have issues, thinking a crease is the hole, etc. fun times.

  3. There is always something! For me too it is scrappy sandals.

  4. I meant to leave a comment on this post a while back and got sidetracked. Don’t know if you’ve come across them but there are some interesting ways to tie belts as opposed to just buckling them. Not so sure I’m sold on the idea but since I need to get a couple of thin belts I might just get a longer one to experiment with.

    1. This is why you are the fashion expert. I have seen models with tied belts but I was a dolt and didn’t think to try it myself. Let me know if you have any luck. I’ll be testing out a few things here.

      1. I sure will keep you posted because I’m hoping to get a few belts this weekend. We’ll see how it goes. I’m not holding out much hope though because I wonder what’s it’s going to look like with my expanding waistline lol.

  5. Hey Susan, just wanted to follow up to let you know I recieved my belts a couple of days ago but while one was a bit longer none of them were long enough to attempt to tie. I’ll have to go back to the drawing board.

    1. Thanks for the follow up, Steph. I have one belt that’s long enough and it seems to work, but I haven’t worn it outside the house yet.

      1. You’re welcome. Are you on Pinterest? I have a few pictures on one of my boards that shows a number of different ways to tie belts. I can’t wait to try it once I get some longer ones.

      2. Nope, but include a link if anyone reading this has Pinterest b/c your fashion tips are great.

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