It happens at public facilities. It happens at home. It happens at work. I can’t escape it. I can’t escape struggling to secure my belt.
While not life threatening, fastening my belt is a required and irritating element of my daily routine. Unintended mishaps dismay me. For example, observing the forced smile of an ice skater waiting for scores next to bossy coaches on camera after a lousy program, dreadful.
Back to the belt. I prefer skinny belts even if they increase the base point value of the skill. If I used one of those flashy yet simple country buckles, the degree of difficulty would plummet like an amateur athlete during open skate time. Can’t have that.
Perception remains my problem. When I look down for any reason, in this case at my belt, the silicone oil surgically implanted to keep my retinas from detaching shifts as if to say yoohoo, here I am, remember me? As if I could forget the pesky yet necessary addition to my eyeballs. Can’t see with it, really can’t see without it.
The belt sequence opens gracefully. I thread the belt into the pant loops then transition to glide the strap through the metal ring, but fitting the metal prong into the correct hole–not too tight, not too loose–knocks me out of rhythm.
Wherever I am–usually it’s by a toilet–I can’t flail and spin too much or I’ll have additional technical problems. I’m performing awkward choreography, intricate finger-work, hoping to connect without creasing the leather in poor execution, or as time passes, without punching a new, jagged hole born of frustration, a definite deduction in spirit.
Sure, roll your eyes at me. I roll my eyes at me. I’m fumbling around, trying not to accidentally grunt lest anyone hears me. Sometimes I stop and close my eyes and breathe, finding balance and my sanity before attempting to land the maneuver again.
I’ll manage to work it out. I’ll forget it until the next time I glance down at my unsecured belt while my oil distorts my vision. You again, I’ll think. Luckily, I only have about ten years to wait until prong-free ribbon belts are preppy again.
What daily hassles do you encounter? Tell me about it.