Dry Humor

imageOur car speeds down the busy highway. Whether the sun shines or hides behind a cloud it always happens a few miles into our commute. I start to feel the itch. In my winter morning grogginess I slowly wake up to the familiar, uncomfortable sensation of dry eyes.

In the colder months I can’t escape the recirculated air of indoor environments. So I dose my prescribed eye drops and apply soothing eye gel as needed. I drink extra water. Jailed in the heated indoors or with time outdoors on a windy day, my lines of defense evaporate.

At home I pick up a rag to wipe down a counter and my mind works to invent solutions. Naturally I think about what would shield my eyes. I wear glasses and they don’t protect me from wind. And unless I devised a way to tint/prescriptify my form-fitted racquetball glasses those are out, too.

I spray bleach cleaner and notice the chemical scent. Hmmm. Chlorine. Reminds me of swimming pools. I used goggles as a swim teamer, anxiously smooshing them to my face to create perfect suction, avoiding a disastrous leak. I didn’t wear them when I swam for fun at the pool though. Eyes never felt irritated or looked red too often. Were my eyeballs tougher as a kid?

I need custom goggles. Not TYRs. Nor greasy communal ones from high school chem lab. I need a revolutionary pair complete with a salinated eyespace ecosystem. Too dry? A mist of salty sea air  enters with the press of a button. A bit too tropical of a climate? I can break the seal and let in some air. I’ll gladly goggle up like co-pilot Fred Noonan to Stockton’s Amelia Earhart as he taxis us around town. Moisturized eyes, zen peace. Ahhh. Recirculated air, arid hell. I blink in reality. Sigh.

This week the snow melted away and the temps rose. This morning as I let the terriers out, the songbirds chirping in the trees signaled spring’s hesitant presence. I feel the close of dry eye season. It’s sunglasses weather. Rejoice.

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. Trisha says:

    Dry eyes are such misery! Strangely, I feel mine drying out now that spring has arrived.

    1. Do you think that’s pollen/allergen related?

  2. Casee says:

    My eyes are dry year round but fortunately, I do have days like today when they feel fine. I have no idea when a good day is coming so I keep my eye drops close by.

    1. Eye drops are a big help.

  3. The misty eyed goggles sounds like a marvelous invention Susan. I sure could have used them a week ago because I thought I lose my mind behind dry eyes (I neglected to have my artificial tears on me at the time).

    1. Oh the dreaded moment you realize you don’t have the little bottle nearby.

      1. I thought I’d lose my mind. Wanted to rip my eyes out of my head and soak them in water. Sounds drastic but oh it was awful.

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